Brownness

Back to Reality

Sanjay Sabarwal

downloadJet lag skirts my eyes but I am determined not to succumb. Memories of the trip still fresh, but more than anything is the desire to go back, travel, see other parts, and just get to know the homeland more in-depth. It’s a strange feeling. I had not thought about India for so long that it never crossed my mind as to how much I was missing out on. Something clicked in me when I went back (besides the loads of delicious food), and that it was when I accept things as they are, stop complaining about all the things missing in India and just take it in, it’s a beautiful fun place.

Does it have pollution, corruption, crazy drivers and heat? Absolutely.

Would I go back? In a heartbeat. Because what I saw there was the realization of how good it is to live without judgement and not fight what is in front of you. I am not gonna lie, there were moments where I wanted to tear my hair out (especially with the bribery), but all in all, it was just another beautiful place that has so much to teach. And for that I am grateful.

Journal

The Last Days

Sanjay Sabarwal

677d06c2294f6043f78ba26e9c6e85b1 I have settled into a routine different from the one from home. I wake up (usually 6 hours or less), get handed a coffee from someone who has worked with my family in some shape or another for the past 38 years.  Then after a bit, breakfast is made by him. And then the day begins which for me usually mean being open and observing and just letting things come as they are. It is a dramatic change from my life at home where I have almost all hours scheduled. It has been a huge learning opportunity as I learn to let go, and just be.

It has also been an exercise in letting go of judgement and impatience. Of not being in charge or being asked to make any decisions. I just got to let things unwrap as they occurred. It helped that I am reading Radical Acceptance, and I cannot help be amazed how much judgement and noise is in my head when things do not go as I wish them to go (which was constant).

Even the travel to the Golden Temple was hectic, chaotic, and done in a flash, but all that went into my mind is to trust and be thankful for the opportunity. Each moment in India has been unrepeatable and memorable, including the hours long traffic, the getting lost, the going to places where  I don’t know people, connecting with new loved ones and realizing that the trip to India is not about the country but about my own personal journey.

It is up to me what to make of it. I choose gratitude.

Journal

Days 9 and 10

Sanjay Sabarwal

download (1)I have a confession about India. I rave about my experience from a position of privilege. I have a place, a car, ready internet, access to places that others do not and a guide. It allows me to see India safely, separately and from a distance. I do not have the worries that others do when they visit or live in India so I am grateful.

Each day I express gratitude for what I have, and the reasons I love my trip so far. The generosity and love shown by so many tells me that I can come again and again, and the reason is simple. Almost all the reasons I disliked India before have been removed. It’s a startling reminder of how far we have come, and now I look forward to my next trip even while I am here now.

Yet there are still things that are under the surface. Both Dubai and India show how cheaply we treat humans as commodities, and what money really can buy when many do not have much. It is common to see more help present than guests, yet no one blinks an eye as if the ones standing around are accessories. It is this reality that is jarring, and it tells me again how much I have to be grateful for.

India shows promise and gives lessons. What I learn is truly up to me.

Brownness

Day 8: India Welcomes

Sanjay Sabarwal

141700097.oOD4fVrD.PunjabOct11977After being here for a few days, one thing has become clear. Not much about India bothers me the way it used to. Before I would complain about how dirty, polluted and unsanitary it is, but the same could be said about my state of mind. The love that has greeted me so far, and the energy of Delhi invigorates me. The first question I get asked now is what do I think of India after 16 years, and my reply is the simple truth: I love it.

I love the 12 people in motorscooter, the 7 cars in lanes, the thinking of traffic lights as suggestions, and of course the cows meandering by. It’s an India that is all-encompassing, and while it could be improved, for what it is, it is mesmerizing to me. The traffic taught me that I get to plan better because even though the distances are small, getting them often takes far longer than anticipated. Also of course, I got the regular welcome of sitting most of the day in the bathroom yesterday, but its ok, I ended the night with great company and love and at the end that’s all that matters.

India is me.

Journal, Myself

Days 1 to 7

Sanjay Sabarwal

downloadIn the whirlwind of first time travels to Dubai and coming back to India after 16 years, I learned a lot about myself, and still continue to do so. Each day as I look around, I see so much possibility in humanity. People’s willingness to do whatever it takes is what struck me in Dubai. It was news to me how many indian lived there to make a living. Several taxi drivers told me Dubai did not refuse Visas to anyone.  All were welcome. Judging from the massive buildings and the amount of people, it made sense to have a big service economy. I am no expert, but what also struck me is how desperate Dubai is to be seen as a tourist destination. Alcohol is a privilege and while other religions exist, pictures of the Sheikh rulers and Islam are quite prominent. It was just different, but I also felt pride at the lengths my people go to take care of their own. Overall, the place felt cold but open.

Then came to India, and I embraced it. The diarrhea, the traffic, the noise pollution, the fearless pedestrians, seeing my relatives and my grandfather’s house. all of it enveloped me and it felt right.  Each day, new things come up and it amazes me our the ingenuity people show. Delhi is a traffic beast, yet one can either embrace it or uselessly shout at it. India teaches me presence, and the idea that once you let it go as to how it is supposed to be and how it is, you cannot help but enjoy it!

Brownness

Tips For If You Get Stopped For A DUI: Legal Reasons #5

Sanjay Sabarwal

fst-slider1I struggled with this post because in no way do I want to seem I am condoning drinking and driving. Yet the reality is that as adults we all attend events where alcohol is involved. If you know, you will be drinking more than 1-2 drinks, use a ride sharing service. Trust me, it will be always be cheaper in terms of cost and peace of mind than when you see the dreaded red lights and you have had a drink or two.

That said, the following tips do not guarantee that you will not get a DUI but will allow your lawyer to perhaps defeat probable cause, save your licence from being suspended, and avoid high insurance rates.

  1. Be Polite. IF the officer asks for your license and registration, hand it over but move slowly. Acknowledge the officer but do NOT offer to the officer that you only had  a few drinks. He is not your friend, and your admission leads right to probable cause. Memorize the following statement: ““I invoke my constitutional right to remain silent, officer.”
  2. Now for the hard and scary part: refuse the field sobriety and breathalyzer if you have had more than 1-2 drinks (based on body size). The officer may arrest but with no tests and your quietness, they do not much or any probable cause which will allow your attorney to fight your matter with plenty of ammunition,
  3. Your goal through the entire time is to reduce probable cause. There is not much you can say to the officer that will reduce probable cause so keep it simple and short.
  4. What if you don’t do any of this?  Still hire an attorney because represented parties often will get better terms for you than when you are unrepresented.
  5. Also, never forget besides criminal, you need to ensure you are represented for your DMV hearing which automatically suspends your license if you do not report 10 calendar days from your arrest.

P.S: this post assumes you are not on probation. If you are unsure what your probation terms, consult with an attorney.