Family, Food For Thought

80

Sanjay Sabarwal

Friday, we will celebrate my Dad’s 80th birthday. To say I have mixed feelings is a huge understatement. When I think about it, I got so much time with Papa, yet I cannot help the regret deep inside me of the wasted opportunities. There are so many I wish to spend committed time, yet I don’t manage to create the opportunities to make them happen. It is easy to fall into the trap of busyness, but really its the realization that living a life of legacy requires sacrifices. Based on some loose math, I believe that like Papa, I only have 35 years left.

Do I want to waste that time in regret, or action? Yet that also means there are times I am not with loved ones. My failure was not that I didn’t get more time with him. It was that I didn’t tell him more how much I loved him. So this birthday we get to that. I am blessed to have had his for so longer when there are others who got much less or none at all. However empathetic I wish to be, I cannot help missing him and wondering what if. It’s an emotional game with little pay off.

Thinking back, Papa lived a life of legacy. His upcoming birthday where so many will be generously donating their talent to honor him reminds me of that. It is what keeps me going. That while there are many who will not understand or accept my desire to do more than just work, it does not take away my desire to be a better person. Just like Papa.

Happy Birthday Papa. Sanjay Loves You.

Legal

When You Are Made To Feel You Don’t Belong: Legal Reasons #39

Sanjay Sabarwal

I now have added Immigration to my practice. Recently,  I have received many calls from frantic people about their immigration status. There is a growing panic that even with a green card, they are no longer can assume they are safe to stay in the country.  It came to me that I had a way to help others who do not have the information to handle the bureaucracy and increasing resistance from Trump Administration to accepting the ideal that this country is built on immigration.  That is not the ideals I grew up on, and I cannot fathom the pain this is causing people with unclear immigration statuses.

It is now the time to ensure that others have the same benefits as others before them.  It is no longer viable to sit and wait for the best. I hope I can contribute to their dreams or, at the minimum, give them a clearer answer.

Food For Thought, Journal

Foodie Monster

Sanjay Sabarwal

So I spent a majority of my time this weekend beginning Thursday, eating different kinds of foods. From a boys night out at the Blind Rabbit (a hidden speakeasy at the Anaheim Packing District) to fast becoming one of my favorite breakfast restaurants No Toro, I spent indulging myself with intimate conversation and the relaxed view that I earned all those meals. I also managed to get the wife great dessert at Coffee Code while she treated me to amazing fish at Mariscos Choix. When people ask why I work out, I always reply to eat.  This is not to suggest that I gorge myself (although there are times I have), but my insistence that to live a life of legacy means enjoying the journey as well.

So finding new places, new conversations about interesting foods and drinks motivate me to push myself in other words. I mean what is the point of doing so much work when I do not give myself rewards. Bribing myself works, and I recommend everyone to become a foodie monster!

Legal

In Times Of Uncertainty: Legal Reasons #38

Sanjay Sabarwal

It’s never easy when fundamental changes are occurring in the work place, one’s marriages, and going through unexpected injury or immigration changes.  One of the best advice I received from legal professors was “when in doubt, ask. ” The worst that can happen is a no, but more often you learn something new, gain a new perspective or get more grounded in your beliefs.

Recently, I have fielded several calls on divorce, wrongful employment, and immigration concerns. Each time, I ask the party to check in with themselves to ensure they are OK with themselves. Courts are a slow process, and it can wear you down so the best thing one can do for themselves is ensure they have the proper support structure to surround themselves. Now I realize that in some cases, some parties truly feel alone, but there are organizations and activities one can do to distress themselves. Worry is just an illusion of doing something. Procrastination due to fear can lead to inaction which guarantees failure. So no matter the legal situation, pick up the phone and ask!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration

In Service For Selfishness

Sanjay Sabarwal

img_0236This week I had the opportunity to get closer to one of my 2017 goals; contribute 100 hours of community service or specifically “be in service.” At first, I pictured serving the homeless regularly, but then I also sat with the idea of being in service. I opened up to the possibility of saying yes to anything that would serve others. So yesterday, I spent a few hours at the Free Whittier Store cleaning out their storage room. I loves their idea that instead of just buying new things, they encouraged community members to come get something they might need for free from them.

I also got a chance to attend the Wednesday Awakin Meditation Circle where I sat in silence for an hour and then got to connect with other like-minded individuals to discuss our AH-HA moments which for me meant that I get to say yes more often to opportunities, and when I do other things open up for me.  My mom made me aware that our gurdwara feeds the homeless every Saturday in Santa Ana through the efforts of an organization United Sikhs, and it hit me that there is always a chance to be in service when you are selfish about your vision. I get it is not for everyone, and I hesitated to post because I am not looking for congratulations, but my hope is to get others to do the same. Have a Sunday planned, use a few hours of that in a way that will make you feel like you are on the top of the world. That’s exactly how I felt this week.

Legal

I Am Done! When Divorce is the Only Choice #Legal Reasons 37

Sanjay Sabarwal

The term “irreconcilable differences” is first reason given on California forms for marital dissolutions (the States’s fancy way of saying divorce). It is a catch-all phrase when partners can no longer continue in a marriage. It explains the failure of a marriage in a way that few words can.  I am struck by how much is covered in that simple phrase, and how often I get calls from people who have given it there all, but can no longer continue. It still surprises many when I advise them to seek counseling, to try all ways before continue on the path for divorce because it is a slow process and one hard on both parties as they share with the court their finances, the inner workings of their relationship, and can lay bare what made the marriage fail.

It is not for everyone. We all have had bad fights, and there are times we struggle with our spouses, but filing is a weapon used when all negotiations have failed. When truly the parties are at an impasse and cannot resolves their differences. It is not a decision to make lightly or in the heat of emotion. So truly try everything else before making that call.