Category: Food For Thought

The last few days were a mixed bag of gratitude, sadness and reflection on what I want from my life. It became clear to me that as we celebrate major milestones, there will be a missing space that my father filled in.  The year draws to an end, and I am determined to learn from it and create new values and lessons for my life. THe good news is that I can do it. The bad is that there will always be something lacking or unexpected happening. The keyword for me is acceptance.

Being present, acceptance, healthy in all aspects of my life are my goals for next year and my life. Because without of those, my life becomes chaotic, and a gaps come up in my relationships with loved ones. And ultimately, for me, that’s the most important thing because if you don’t have your loved ones by your side, then what do you have really?

I am beyond blessed in other aspects of my life, yet there is a constant nagging in my heart and mind that there is more I can do. Not for money or fame, but being in service to others. There are so many to connect to, and honestly the scariest part also is being vulnerable which requires baring my soul and thoughts to others as they occur. I spent too much time trying to organize them, but more than not, they end up staying buried and coming up at the worst times possible.

So practicing quiet reflection on a daily basis has become my new mantra. Wish me luck!

One of the things I have found that works for me is continual review of my vision, goals and ideas. It is easy to set up goals, much, harder to keep at them.  I find that it takes work to ensure you can keep goals. Daily reminders, an accountability buddy and weekly reviews set me up to know what’s working and what’s not.  It is not a whining session or one where I beat myself up when I cannot get to a goal or its below than what I stated, but rather a quick look at what’s working, what’s not and why.

Saying I forgot, I found, is a sign of resistance and fixable when I look at the underlying reasons usually not setting myself to win by not having a reminder or not being prepared for unexpected things.  The other is when I continually do not get to the number I wanted i.e working out 5 days a week. There is no more beating myself up. It is what it is. The fact I got to any number is good. Reviewing continually is not continually beating myself up. There is no right or wrong. Just what is working, and what is not.

The goal is to always move forward, and for that I am truly proud of myself.

A new week begins, and it hits me that October ends today. Two more months till 2016 ends, and I cannot wait to sit down and figure our plans for the new year.  Not sure New Year Resolutions, but actually actionable items that create change in me. I made some serious declarations for this year, and I am proud to say I got on the path for a lot of them, but I also was unprepared for so many things happening that make me wish 2016 never happened.

Yet I also know life goes on, and to delve on the past, uninformed by it is a recipe for repeating the previous mistakes. And other things need to motivate so I begin this today as a reminder that it’s not an end of the month or a year, but the beginning of possibility and chance to do things differently if I am not happy. Or to continue with the things that are working, to be not be complacent. Love, vision and success take work. They do not just continue because you do the same things over and over. They are investments that need continuing time and attention.

So October 31st is a reminder that I get to reset what was not working and push beyond what was working. I get to learn to keep moving not staying still, even with my emotions and thoughts. It is not easy. There are days where I just want to lie in bed, and just not be, yet self-pity is a wasted time because it serves no one least of all me.

So I get up, and begin this day with the end in mind. Bring it on 2016, let’s see what you got left. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The Tuesday after a long weekend is always a mixed bag of emotions. From the eagerness to get back into my routine to the realization of how much there is to do to grounding myself that even if I wasted the weekend in terms of productivity I got to spend time with loved ones. Today is a chance to pick up the mantle I left on Friday. To choose to go back to who I know I can be when I put my mind to things. To get back to being more than just existing. To make a difference, to be healthy, to be present, to contribute, to just not pass days not making an impact on my goals.

But I also start today with a bit of anxiety. Beating myself up for not doing more on my days off, for eating badly, for not doing more things. I realize that this mental soundtrack can take over me sometimes and instead of enjoying the day off, I spend it in regret. I forget to practice gratitude for having the opportunity to enjoy these free moments. It’s then I realize I have gotten into the “let’s get shit done” mode which is great when I am on a mission, but not so great for winding down.

The reality is that unless I get this “me and family time”, I do run down. After all, what is the point of pushing myself if I cannot rest, recover and relax. I also realize that I push myself because of a deep fear that I will fall into old habits. So I sit with these feelings for a while, and let them do what they do best: which is pass. Then I take a breath and get back onto the saddle of responsibility. Wish me luck!