Category: Food For Thought

Family, Food For Thought

80

Sanjay Sabarwal

Friday, we will celebrate my Dad’s 80th birthday. To say I have mixed feelings is a huge understatement. When I think about it, I got so much time with Papa, yet I cannot help the regret deep inside me of the wasted opportunities. There are so many I wish to spend committed time, yet I don’t manage to create the opportunities to make them happen. It is easy to fall into the trap of busyness, but really its the realization that living a life of legacy requires sacrifices. Based on some loose math, I believe that like Papa, I only have 35 years left.

Do I want to waste that time in regret, or action? Yet that also means there are times I am not with loved ones. My failure was not that I didn’t get more time with him. It was that I didn’t tell him more how much I loved him. So this birthday we get to that. I am blessed to have had his for so longer when there are others who got much less or none at all. However empathetic I wish to be, I cannot help missing him and wondering what if. It’s an emotional game with little pay off.

Thinking back, Papa lived a life of legacy. His upcoming birthday where so many will be generously donating their talent to honor him reminds me of that. It is what keeps me going. That while there are many who will not understand or accept my desire to do more than just work, it does not take away my desire to be a better person. Just like Papa.

Happy Birthday Papa. Sanjay Loves You.

Food For Thought, Journal

Foodie Monster

Sanjay Sabarwal

So I spent a majority of my time this weekend beginning Thursday, eating different kinds of foods. From a boys night out at the Blind Rabbit (a hidden speakeasy at the Anaheim Packing District) to fast becoming one of my favorite breakfast restaurants No Toro, I spent indulging myself with intimate conversation and the relaxed view that I earned all those meals. I also managed to get the wife great dessert at Coffee Code while she treated me to amazing fish at Mariscos Choix. When people ask why I work out, I always reply to eat.  This is not to suggest that I gorge myself (although there are times I have), but my insistence that to live a life of legacy means enjoying the journey as well.

So finding new places, new conversations about interesting foods and drinks motivate me to push myself in other words. I mean what is the point of doing so much work when I do not give myself rewards. Bribing myself works, and I recommend everyone to become a foodie monster!

Food For Thought, Inpsiration

In Service For Selfishness

Sanjay Sabarwal

img_0236This week I had the opportunity to get closer to one of my 2017 goals; contribute 100 hours of community service or specifically “be in service.” At first, I pictured serving the homeless regularly, but then I also sat with the idea of being in service. I opened up to the possibility of saying yes to anything that would serve others. So yesterday, I spent a few hours at the Free Whittier Store cleaning out their storage room. I loves their idea that instead of just buying new things, they encouraged community members to come get something they might need for free from them.

I also got a chance to attend the Wednesday Awakin Meditation Circle where I sat in silence for an hour and then got to connect with other like-minded individuals to discuss our AH-HA moments which for me meant that I get to say yes more often to opportunities, and when I do other things open up for me.  My mom made me aware that our gurdwara feeds the homeless every Saturday in Santa Ana through the efforts of an organization United Sikhs, and it hit me that there is always a chance to be in service when you are selfish about your vision. I get it is not for everyone, and I hesitated to post because I am not looking for congratulations, but my hope is to get others to do the same. Have a Sunday planned, use a few hours of that in a way that will make you feel like you are on the top of the world. That’s exactly how I felt this week.

Food For Thought, Journal, Myself

Wait But Why

Sanjay Sabarwal

Arriving back from Jackson, Mississippi late last night, it hit me how it was good to change to your environment for a few days. It is easy to get caught up in the hum drum of daily life, and while that consistency has its benefits, what I found was that with each travel occasion, I had a chance to deepen my love of interaction with others, find new food and stay in moments of gratitude that I have the privilege and luxury of being able to have new experiences.

It is too easy to take for granted the opportunities for connection with others that  you do not see very often. Although I was a relation by marriage to many there, I was made to feel like immediate family and that comfort and care pushed me to want to create more moments and opportunities like this in the future. Also, my crazy desire to try the best food where ever I am also played a big part.

A friend sent me a great article while I was there, and it seemed as if the Universe conspired yet again to let me know Papa looked out for me as it emphasized that we have very little in person time left with loved ones. It is easy to get so caught up in pursuing our financial dreams that we lose sight of the real treasures in front of us. So today, take time to make spending time with loved ones an EMERGENCY. Trust me when I say you will drown in regret if you lose that opportunity/

Brownness, Food For Thought, Journal

Task Disorientation

Sanjay Sabarwal

03a50aaa6de20f2e334f7298d1524bcb Last week, my laptop stopped working, I had two flat tires, I was unable to get to the gym daily, and had a huge breakdown in communication with a loved one. I stewed about all the tasks I did not get to. Over and over, I kept scolding myself for not holding myself to getting my daily and weekly tasks to a point where I felt like a complete and utter failure. And then I took a breath.  I realized that yes I didn’t get to all my tasks, but how I handled what came up mattered more

I got a new laptop, got a great deal on the tires, and was able to have an intimate and vulnerable conversation with the loved one. Then there were other things, I hit 245lbs on my front squat, learned a bit about how to increase blog subscribers, discussed with my cousin about the podcast, revised a personal essay, saved the company from an HR mistake, and settled a claim for a client who was so grateful she hugged me 4 times.

It hit me that I still needed to not get so caught up in getting tasks done that I failed to accept what my overall goals were for myself. Too often, I lost myself in the to do list, and stopped living life when the whole point of the tasks was to live a life worth living. So I stopped and learned to be grateful for the blessings life threw my way. Thanked the universe for disorienting me, forcing me to slow down and know that no matter that I did not get to all my tasks the way I wanted, but I am still further from my starting point.

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Food For Thought, Myself

Blabbering On Goals

Sanjay Sabarwal

76860c9f3dac9cd997e2d190be7f1bc7As I come close to revising a personal essay about Papa, it hit me that it is appropriate that I am beginning to approximate his waking time. I cannot help telling anyone that will listen how much I get done, and all that I wish to achieve this year. Yet a part of me cannot help feeling like a fraud and a blabbermouth. Doubt hangs heavy in the mornings when I struggle through my writing and review my goals. It feels as if I am kidding myself when day after day some goals remain not done or even forgotten. Yet I know there is more going on: Fear. Fear that I am a fraud, that I am boring others, that I am arrogant and egotistical for constantly sharing,  Fear that I am not good enough, and that I fill space by going on and one about what I wish to do.

But then slowly certain goals get done, great feedback from my Writers Groups, becoming athlete of the month at the gym, spending connected time with  my family, friends and being in service to others. All those things started with small steps, and false starts. They all began with me declaring and blabbering.  So I get to get out of my head and into action, knowing that I may not get to all or most of my goals, but I will still be further along than when I started.