Category: Brownness

“I don’t need an attorney. The insurance company is going to fix my car.” The guy confidently said to me when I asked him why he didn’t get an attorney. He recently had gotten rear ended so hard his car was totaled, and he had already missed two weeks of work. He complained about some back pain, but “taking tylenol seems to help.” I winced inwardly because I hear this too often from people who do not realize that more often than not, they can be made whole.  They also seem to think that getting an attorney is too costly.

Look no one sets out to have an accident, and when you are involved in one with injuries, it doesn’t hurt to call someone who has dealt with insurance companies. Most don’t realize they can get their lost wages, time and any costs incurred due to an accident.  And all it takes is a simple call.  And it doesn’t cost anything. If you have a valid claim, the costs are borne by the insurance company not you.

So pick up the phone after an accident. Those few minutes could save you a lot of time and aggravation.

Yesterday,  I took Preeti to go see the sunset, and it was nice to see so many people out. A brisk breeze made jackets necessary and Bella hopped around in excitement as Hilltop Park in Signal Hill slowly filled up. It struck me how easy technology made it for me to find this place, all because I chose to type in best sunsets near me. Yet it was also interesting to see some absorbed in their phones, recording the sunset rather than just looking at it.

I admit I took pictures too, but I also watching it slowly go down and reveled in how brilliant nature and it cost us nothing more than our time to see a light show that perhaps has been going on for millions of years. I know as I watched the sun go down that I need to see this light show with her by my side. It made sense to pick a random day to see how much beauty surrounds us when I open myself up to it.

I took it in and was grateful for that moment. A quiet moment.  Just me, Bella, Preeti and a gorgeous Sunset.

The reality is that divorce can be as simple or complicated as your feelings are about your partner. The smart money is to be not engage in prolonging a painful process for yourself and loved ones. Too often, people continue as if nothing has changed and in the process make divorce an even more complex.

1. Stay off of social media until the divorce is over. It can cause unnecessary headaches.
2. Consider your children’s well-being every step of the way. They are not pawns and should never be used as such.
3. Let it go.  Pause and think before you act. Too often, partners becoming vested in harming or punishing the other side which causes costs to go up.
4. Be honest with your lawyer and follow their advice! This is not the time to scheme and come up with untruthful allegations. Remember, if you are at this point, the plan should be to resolve things as amicably as possible.
5. Make – and stick to – a financial plan. Do not lie about your finances. That is not a strategy to success and could lead to more issues than you planned for.

Jet lag skirts my eyes but I am determined not to succumb. Memories of the trip still fresh, but more than anything is the desire to go back, travel, see other parts, and just get to know the homeland more in-depth. It’s a strange feeling. I had not thought about India for so long that it never crossed my mind as to how much I was missing out on. Something clicked in me when I went back (besides the loads of delicious food), and that it was when I accept things as they are, stop complaining about all the things missing in India and just take it in, it’s a beautiful fun place.

Does it have pollution, corruption, crazy drivers and heat? Absolutely.

Would I go back? In a heartbeat. Because what I saw there was the realization of how good it is to live without judgement and not fight what is in front of you. I am not gonna lie, there were moments where I wanted to tear my hair out (especially with the bribery), but all in all, it was just another beautiful place that has so much to teach. And for that I am grateful.

After being here for a few days, one thing has become clear. Not much about India bothers me the way it used to. Before I would complain about how dirty, polluted and unsanitary it is, but the same could be said about my state of mind. The love that has greeted me so far, and the energy of Delhi invigorates me. The first question I get asked now is what do I think of India after 16 years, and my reply is the simple truth: I love it.

I love the 12 people in motorscooter, the 7 cars in lanes, the thinking of traffic lights as suggestions, and of course the cows meandering by. It’s an India that is all-encompassing, and while it could be improved, for what it is, it is mesmerizing to me. The traffic taught me that I get to plan better because even though the distances are small, getting them often takes far longer than anticipated. Also of course, I got the regular welcome of sitting most of the day in the bathroom yesterday, but its ok, I ended the night with great company and love and at the end that’s all that matters.

India is me.

I struggled with this post because in no way do I want to seem I am condoning drinking and driving. Yet the reality is that as adults we all attend events where alcohol is involved. If you know, you will be drinking more than 1-2 drinks, use a ride sharing service. Trust me, it will be always be cheaper in terms of cost and peace of mind than when you see the dreaded red lights and you have had a drink or two.

That said, the following tips do not guarantee that you will not get a DUI but will allow your lawyer to perhaps defeat probable cause, save your licence from being suspended, and avoid high insurance rates.

1. Be Polite. IF the officer asks for your license and registration, hand it over but move slowly. Acknowledge the officer but do NOT offer to the officer that you only had  a few drinks. He is not your friend, and your admission leads right to probable cause. Memorize the following statement: ““I invoke my constitutional right to remain silent, officer.”
2. Now for the hard and scary part: refuse the field sobriety and breathalyzer if you have had more than 1-2 drinks (based on body size). The officer may arrest but with no tests and your quietness, they do not much or any probable cause which will allow your attorney to fight your matter with plenty of ammunition,
3. Your goal through the entire time is to reduce probable cause. There is not much you can say to the officer that will reduce probable cause so keep it simple and short.
4. What if you don’t do any of this?  Still hire an attorney because represented parties often will get better terms for you than when you are unrepresented.
5. Also, never forget besides criminal, you need to ensure you are represented for your DMV hearing which automatically suspends your license if you do not report 10 calendar days from your arrest.

P.S: this post assumes you are not on probation. If you are unsure what your probation terms, consult with an attorney.