Category: Brownness

This past weekend was a mixture of learning new and familiar concepts in Family Law, and it hit me that I get jolt of adrenaline as I find new ways to help my clients. Instead of the darkness of not knowing on what to do, I suddenly found a torchlight that allows me to lead my clients to other other side and to closure. Let’s get it right, there is no winning or losing in Family Law. There is just the beginning, the middle and finally closure. That’s what I tell my clients because I am not interested in dragging things out just for the heck of it.

But back to learning. I also love my MasterClass, and my podcasts (most Joe Rogan). and then my New Yorker, Mens Health, and Scientific American, along with my barbell and crossfit coaches, I am surrounded my knowledge, tips, and paths to keep growing. And the learning continues with my wife, family and in laws. The kind of learning that teaches me to be a better version of myself, to be empathetic, to be present and open and on and on.

And then it hits me that life is learning and if and when I am stop then I should prepare for mediocrity or the end of my consciousness. The thought frightens me not because I am afraid of death, but because I want to live the best version of myself.

Happy Monday!

In the quiet of my office, I can finally process the weekend. Rest and recovery out of the question as we celebrated a dear friend, got to experience our first Friends Giving, and finally had a chance to spend some quality time with our niece and another close friend of mine and his partner.

I never quite know how to answer when people ask me how my weekend was. For the past few months, there has no free days to just do nothing, or rest, or do anything not created by someone else. And the word that comes to mind is grateful, and blessed which turns into sentence of being surrounded by so many who care about us, bathing us with their time and attention.

There was a time I looked forward to different types of events and people, participated in what I thought to be lifelong activities like promotion, events, selling music, connecting with music industry folks and on a path to creating a record label. It all seems so foolish now, but then again I gained so much from doing all that. It is a foundational part of me allowing me a network of people and ideas helped me grow in unique ways.

And so in this morning quiet, I sit amazed at the changes in my life where health, family, mariage, friendship, and business fill up my days, and my soul. A different life than what I imagined, but do not wish to change in any way at all. Yes weekends are full, time feels shorter and shorter, so many people I need to connect with, but I wouldnt have it any other way.

Happy Birthday again Megha. Great seeing you Raj, and of course to am amazing start of the weekend with my BNI crew but most importantly having my wife by my side throughout all of it. I am a lucky man indeed.

Happy Monday!

This past friday, I got a chance to realize that preparation requires me making no assumptions, means me practicing, means me not telling myself I am ready when I am unable to state things with confidence in a new setting to a stranger. It hit me that I was gave myself a pat on the back too soon, the little nervousness had appeared too late and did me a bit of damage, and so now I get to learn, be sure not to repeat the same mistakes.

The old me would just keep beating myself on mistakes or things not done, but now I am eager to take it all in, to learn, to grown, to know what to expect, to see myself with compassion instead of derision but also with clarity so I am not giving myself free passes. There is no point in doing difficult or new things if I don’t grow from them, don’t add things to my knowledge base, don’t repeat them, or get to know myself better in a similar situation.

I still tend to talk fast when nervous or unsure. I still try to rush through things, afraid of being challenged, or getting hamstrung when I am challenged. So I continue to push myself into uncomfortable things because that is the only way I see myself clearly instead of convincing myself that everything will work out. Because sometimes they don’t and I get to learn to be prepared to either fail or succeed, but at the end of the day, preparation matters. It always has, but how I define it has changed.

Happy Monday.

This weekend it hit me that I had not paid attention to how I had been doing with my habits for the past few months. Well not exactly true, I’d been tracking them using the Clear Habit Journal, but had not posted publicly how I’d fared. August September, I did pretty well on my meditation and journaling, sporadic on not drinking on the weekdays and stretching, a lot better on my new habit of taking vitamins (Zinc, Fish Oil and Alpha Lipoic), and needed to improve my water intake. I realized that often the habits I did only 70% of the time were ones I either didnt want to do or didn’t remember to.

I didnt plan on Taco Tuesdays or get togethers with friends or just feeling like a drink after a hard day, so I get to check in with myself and see what the story is I make up about drinking on the weekdays because that’s what it is. I also know that when I do drink even when its only one or two, I am groggy the next day which makes me not want to wake up at 5am to workout.

October I added the habit of eating fruit daily and that has been a game changer in terms of making that the firs thing I eat to break my intermittent fast of 14 hours. I want to get up to 16 hours, but then again I noticed that when I do drink or don’t work out or stretch, I tend to snack and eat not so well on the weekends. So there is work to be done.

I only have 2 and half months left till I hit 50, and I do want to be the best version of myself. Maybe I am fooling myself, but its okay as long I continue to hit my goals I am good with my effort.

New month, new me. Happy Monday

This past week, I managed to damage an incredible relationship I have had with a group of friends that I have known for over seven years. We were certain we would be lifelong friends, but now I am not so certain due to my own rash actions. Even though I apologized and really heard them (as painful as it was), it does not come close to my rash decision and what pain it caused for them. Now things do pass, passions calm down, and I know it may not seem as serious as now, but I am truly not sure.

This is a pattern in my life that sometimes serves me, but more often than not leads me down a path of expecting others to act the way I want them to act. Yes my routines, actions, journeys, goals support me, but they also tend to cause me to judge others and not see them in their beauty, their journey. As much as I keep saying there is no right or wrong, I still lean towards judgement when really empathy, awareness and maturity are needed. There is also the presumption that my way is the right way, and while it may be for me, it really does not mean it is for others.

So now I worry, and am in deep regret because my selfishness and holier than thou attitude hurts the ones I really care about. Is it the end of the world, no. But it could be the end of the friendship unless I make amends and meet them where they are at without judgment, without making it about me and my journey, and just be a good friend. It will take a long time to repair something that I broke in seconds. But I have no one blame but myself. As much as I don’t realize it, I still have a lot of growing up to do.

This weekend turned out to be one of tastings, from whiskey to brunch to an actual desi movie (my first in a theater in 2 years). It can be easy to focus on the things I am not doing (not going to different destinations), but more and more I am also choosing more things to make myself uncomfortable (like signing up for the Long Beach Marathon next year), and looking into doing my first triathlon.

I am looking forward to a trip I have planned in January, and I can’t wait to see how this year ends. Between the uncertainty. the paradoxes of seeing the politics for many of my friends (and my own), I am even more determined to staying open, to learning, to getting curious.

On Friday, I ended an accountability call that has been going on for almost 6 years, and while I regret as to how I ended things, I don’t regret the decision because I became too judgmental and wanted too many things that the group could no longer provide. Seeing how I ended it tells me I have a ways to go in communication and decision making. It felt wrong the way I did it, and there is a chance to make that exit better.

As much as sometimes it seems life is static, when I do these posts I am yet again reminded of how blessed I am with the people in my life. That no matter life goes on, and its important to mark occasions even as simple as whiskey tastings, or going to brunch or watching a funny indian movie with the wife and friends, It’s what makes life worth living.

Happy Monday!