Author: Sanjay Sabarwal

My Personal Blog. I am an attorney practicing in Civil Litigitation, Employment Law and Family Law
Myself

Acceptance

Sanjay Sabarwal

imagesAnother hectic week. More days doing things, attending events, experiencing discomfort but also, more importantly, connecting with others. Not just doing things for the sake of doing, but participating. No more just observing. There were some lost opportunities to speak up, but you know what, it’s OK. No more regretting what could or should have been said. Now it’s about living in the moment, and accepting things as they are.

I admit, it’s not so easy. It’s easy to listen to that negative voice in the head, and whine or complain about how things should be. I could get lost in that tone, and miss out on a friend expressing loneliness. Even though surrounded by dozens, he still feels that he is living a sheltered life. It hit me that we all can feel this way. Sometimes, just getting caught up in the monotony of  doing same things over and over can feel exhausted. One wonders what’s the point? Which is why I swore to no longer just do the same thing.

To push myself to be uncomfortable as regularly as possible. To not just accept the ho-hum. To do new things. To keep learning. To love deeper. To not just be silent. To listen not to rebut but to actually be present. Funny, how that word keeps coming up.  But its OK. I accept it. 🙂

Brownness

Pain

Sanjay Sabarwal

IMG_1711Soreness rules my body. In fact, this year the only time I managed to not to be sore is when I battled a cold for two weeks. This pain is good. It tells me that I am growing. It’s uncomfortable which means I am not content being in a comfort zone. I push myself so I can be a better Sanjay. Last week, I chose to start doing crossfit twice a day and then run hills on Saturday. Why? Because I want to do the Spartan race in which I handle all the obstacles. I am no longer content skipping areas. I am no longer OK with not even trying. I have done that for too long in my life, and the results are that I am not growing in certain areas. By being risk averse, I avoided learning, becoming better at the difficult things in life. Every day, I also struggle with writing. It’s the one thing on my mind after my wife. Both of them, I want to get better at being with. So each morning, I sit and I visualize what I would like to make better in my marriage and writing.

It doesn’t stop there. I do all this not for anyone but for myself. Pain is good. It tells me when I have gone further than what my body can handle. And you know what? That’s OK.

Random

The Compass

Sanjay Sabarwal

Another week starts while the month is about to end. The same questions come up for me. What did I create so far? What will I create this month? Half of the year is gone, where am I at with my resolutions and all the thing other things I wanted to get done? For once, there is no hesitation. I am on the right path. To be sure, it hasn’t been easy, and there still ways to go, but the point is that I am going in the right direction. I no longer dawdle in a pool of uncertainty to not knowingness.

From worrying about finishing 5 essays, wondering if I will be ready for the marathon in October, figuring out where to take the wife out to vacation and working on getting new clients for my law practice, I now see that I am asking the right questions. Whereas before I fretted on where I wanted to go with my life, I now see that I am on a journey to be the best Sanjay I can be.  Have there been setbacks? Sure. Are there days I feel overwhelmed or not worth? All the time. But my compass points in the right direction and for now that’s all that matters.

Food For Thought, Myself

Another Monday

Sanjay Sabarwal

Zig ZiglarAnother chance at a new week. A week full of possibility. We get so many beginnings yet many of us squander them away. I woke up in a funk today. I wondered what to do instead of knowing immediately like I used to. I am unmoored, and with that mental drift comes uncertainty and sadness. Not knowing is the worst. I’d rather have structure, but as you know life doesn’t work that way. Each day is a choice to get up and fight or just lie there in defeat. Each moment, you get to remind yourself of your purpose and then go for it. Wallowing in misery is not an option.  Yet, I admit it can be hard to get up when the world seems to be weighing down on you, or loves ones questioning your motives about everything or losing faith in you completely.

So I breath. Shift. Take another breath. Then plunge right in. Giving up is not an option. Feeling sorry for myself  not even on the calendar.  Fight, Sanjay, Fight. That’s what’s on my mind. The reasons for my being become clearer. I may not change the world, but I can change my mind and day. And for now, that is enough.

Family, Myself

Being Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Sanjay Sabarwal

downloadLP 122Today, it has been 24 hours since I finished a four-month long training called the Legacy Program (LP). I did not end with relief even though almost every day began with a challenge to my life. I chose LP to redesign my life, and truth be told, I am surprised that it did. I pushed myself in ways I have not in a long time. I chose discomfort as my template rather than being OK with  my life. I pushed myself to create new things and go back to an early Sanjay who cared deeply about what was going on in the world and not just himself. I reactivated my passion for life, and the people who are in it. I chose to live life rather than pass time. In the process. I gained a new family of 54 people who did not allow me to falter or make excuses. They held me to the higher standard I declared. They called me up to be the Sanjay they saw in me, the Sanjay I deserve to be, and the Sanjay who make change happen.

It was not without failure, but now I see that as opportunities to learn from not to give up. Each experience taught me of what’s working and what’s not.  I am truly blessed to have the wife and loved me who encouraged me to spread my wings, and because of that my family grew. I also grew. I now see so much I can contribute, and while the old me talked about why I couldn’t do something, this graduate now discusses possibilities and how it CAN be done.

Family, Food For Thought, Myself

Grateful

Sanjay Sabarwal

The weekend passed in a blink, carrying with it new experiences and memories. Plenty of laughter with the moms and my family. A chance to reconnect and strengthen the bonds, but also to immerse myself in gratitude for the people in my life. I see the next generation and with them the love comes easy, and it heartens me to know that they too get to experience what it means to be amongst people who care about them deeply. Silly conversations to complimenting the food and  four dogs took over our attention, yet more than anything else, the time spent together recharged me.

Each time we get together, I am reminded that the connection is not just because we are related or married to each other, but that we genuinely like being around each other. The one thing missing were dear friends, but I resolved to solve the issue soon. Each of these relationships are my way of charging back into things I want to accomplish in my life. It also reminds me why I do the things that I do in my life. Gratitude rules my life, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

After all, if I do not recognize what’s good in my life, then how I can grow?  Thank you, thank you, thank you!