Author: Sanjay Sabarwal

Yesterday, I finally got a chance to take Zyan to the Children;s Museum in the City of La Habra, and I was truly blown away. I’d hesitated taking him because I believe he was far too long, and would not enjoy himself, however once we entered, I changed my mind instantly. Not only do they have amazing information, it is displayed in a way to encourage touching and exploring. It felt amazing to see so many others with their young ones too, Generally, Zyan is the youngest when we go places, but not so here. From an amazing art illuminated wall, a car the kids can sit in, to trying on firefighter uniforms to a carousel specially made for young kids, I probably was as excited as Zyan to be there.

One of my. main joys of being Zyan’s father has been searching and then discovering new things for us to do on weekends. I know my time with him is limited and I can’t wait to continue exploring with him. My only regret was that I did not bring my nephew Ezra along who loves dinosaurs, and the museum has several great exhibits just on that along with relatively large species displayed on their lawn. I cannot wait to bring him so he too can share in the excitement.

I already looking forward to taking him to Discovery Cube in Santa Ana, and really anything that lets him run around and simply enjoy himself. My only agenda is him seeing different things, and really for myelf as well. Yet again, I cannot help feeling my heart grow bigger because of these chance field trips that yield so much joy!

Happy Monday!

This past extended weekend allowed me to live out my fantasy of being an active father to Zyan which allowed both of us to try new things. What one of the main reasons I am falling in love with our new home has been the ready access to so many active outdoor things to do. On 4th of July, I took Zyan to the Tracks at Brea, which is a 4 mile trail made especially for easy hiking, biking as well as running. While we didnt cover the entire trail, Zyan was happy to go along for most of it and then used the outdoor gym as his own playground. It truly surprised me to see many using the trails at 8am on a holiday of all days. Then later on that day, I took him for his first car wash and McDonalds, and what filled my heart with joy was the fact that he enjoyed his orange more than the chicken nuggets. He truly epitomizes his grandfather who loved fruit. Then we ended the day with a picnic with his cousins, and it just made for a perfect ending to a full day.

July 5th allowed me to take Zyan to first non paved hike at Panorama Nature Preserve which is located in Fullerton, an easy trail with some inclines, but the views were spectacular. Watching Zyan stomp around in glee on the gravelly path just made me want to come back again and soon. Then the beautiful wife recommended this gem located in La Habra, and Zyan got to attend his very first Splash Pad. It ended up being a perfect introduction for Zyan to get used to playing in water, and then we ended the day again in a pool where he waded right in as if he was born to be in there. The true fun was not the pool but his interactions with his cousins, and it fills the heart to see them share so much laughter together.

Reflecting over the weekend last night, I realized that Zyan is already building his own relationships with his loved ones, and one that gives me assurance that should anything to either or both of us, he will never be alone. Perhaps a morbid thought, but it still makes my heart full!

This past weekend we celebrated someone who I have had the pleasure seeing go from a baby to a sassy, intelligent, caring, and overwhelmingly loving being. To think that Zara is just turned 6 makes me envy the times I had with my nephew and nieces Maya. Raina, Kavan and Hansa. I was blessed to enjoy them, but until Zara it didnt hit me how lucky I was for being a young uncle but not so young that I don’t feel a certain protectiveness over each of them as if I was their parent.

Each meeting with Zara always contains a chance to feel joy, be seen, and just a chance to see a growing personality that is far older than 6. Seeing her play with her younger brother Ezra and now her cousin Zyan fills my heart with strong emotions that sound inadequate to call just love. Its a bursting kind of amazement, happiness tha threatens to choke my heart. The same feeling I had when I was a Mamu now being called uncle fills me with same kind of ensuring she is safe and take care of.

And she is, the breadth of her clan is already deep, all thanks to her parents efforts to ensure that she knows that she will NEVER be alone, and that family is not simply defined by blood but by time and shared moments. Her birthday wasnt just a celebration of her coming into our lives, but a continuing affirmation of being witness to a beautiful soul who makes so many around her happy.

Her presence has allowed me to relive moments with my own, but in a way that feels like natural outgrowth into seeing her the same. I proudly tell everyone she is my niece, but really she is. Happy Birthday Zara. Sanjay Uncle loves you (and your ofcourse your favorite Bhua)

A gloomy Monday, yet the weekend sparkled beginning early Friday as we got to spend time with so many loved ones, catching up with someone, sharing Zyan with others and then doing some family of 3 time and ended the weekend by having Zyan spend time with his cousins at Balboa Village. It is times like these that create the lasting memories we will look back at fondly, and to think, it just came from simply yes to the opportunity rather than finding reasons not to do it.

With the recent onslaught of blessed work, it has also limited my time during the week to do the things I truly enjoy which of course involve my wife and son. I look forward to the unstructured time I get with him from the morning till his bedtime. I also get to experience things I haven’t done before (like Balboa, or Yorba Linda Regional Park or the Santa Ana Zoo.) Every new thing for him also becomes something new for us, allowing us to build new routines that encourage his curiosity and giddy laughter

As the days fly, I am constantly striving to be present in Zyan’s life. I don’t just want to be a weekend dad all the time. I also get that until I get to have my systems down, this will be my new reality. That knowledge is pushing me this month to really take a hard look at what the gaps are for me at work, and at home, and then work on finding fixes so we can have more perfect weekends like we just did. I am addicted to the collective smiles, conversations, and laughter we shared, and I am determined to make that my routine!

The cliches come and easy. Just like that. Voila. Boom. All true. Zyan is 18. months. I laugh at me when he was 1 and I thought I knew it all. Each month a new lesson, a new way to be with him. Already my mind full of so many amazing memories of him, thousands of pictures and hundreds of videos full of our son. Just seeing him makes me light up. Hearing him coo in the mornings, a beautiful alarm that I wouldn’t trade for the world. His ready smile when he looks up as I open his bedroom door. Our walk down to the living room while I kiss him repeatedly has become my daily grounding,

Seeing life through his eyes has changed how I approached things. He is ever present, always playing with his toys, and things that he finds. In his eyes, anything can be a toy, to be explored, to be touched, thrown, laughed at, cause a fit of giggles. My morning entertainment now involves sipping coffee and just watch him be. Running around endlessly, holding up his hands to be picked up, letting me know that he is hungry by repeatedly saying “Kha Kha” (a word my mom, his Dadi taught him) allows me to be in that moment with him,

And then like clockwork, he whines a bit to let me know he is ready for his first nap, and just like that two hours have vanished. Now I finally understand fast. Each day with him going ever and ever faster. My regret grows each time I leave for work because for those eights hours are without him. I envy my wife for the time she gets with him, and I cannot wait for the weekends to have him for more than a few hours.

Whoosh, time keeps ticking away, and soon this boy will show me even more of himself and continue teaching me. I Cannot wait!

Yesterday, we took Zyan to the Orange County Zoo for the very first time, and while some may think he is too young (he is), just watching him careen all over the place, happy to be able to run and walk around so many people made it totally worthwhile. I have to admit, I also enjoyed it, and that was one of my secret reasons for taking him. I cannot wait to see and experience new things due to Zyan. Seeing him full of joy with the just us three is a special kind of time.

While it was a pain to get there and park as it was Irvine Park, I am glad we battled through that frustration to get to a new place for us. Times like this are what we will look back on, and I cannot wait to tell Zyan about his first time at the zoom, how he touched a snake, got close to a peacock, and ran past a bear and a jaguar without slowing down. It is these moments that I look forward to savoring in my quiet periods when he is not so young.

I want him to have my curiousity , passion for learning, being willing to do new things, try new experiences, be comfortable being uncomfortable, but most of all I want him to know he has parents who plan on being by his side as much as possible. Next stop (hopefully) the petting zoo or maybe San Diego or the Aquarium!