Author: Sanjay Sabarwal

My Personal Blog. I am an attorney practicing in Civil Litigitation, Employment Law and Family Law
Myself

Haven

Sanjay Sabarwal
Pork Jam at Haven Gastro Pub
Pork Jam at Haven Gastro Pub (Photo credit: 3j0hn)

Last night, I had drinks with a great friend. While there, I realized that this was a friend who I had known for years, and we had shared some really great history.  We had a life that many in my life now were not aware of. We had visited each other so often that he had asked me to be the Godfather of his son.  An honor I do not take lightly. I also felt guilty that it had taken us almost 6 months to get together, and that was only after he pushed hard for us to get together. As I sat there, and we began as if we never left off, it hit me hard that I had missed so much time in between our meetings.

I wonder why sometimes we drift off from meaningful and fulfilling relationships.  I want to say because we get busy with others or work yet those are just excuses. Real relationships are cultivated but more importantly if they are real they do not wither away.  I did wonder and I asked why it took for us to get together.  My theory was I had done something to offend him or perhaps the people in his life don’t care as much for me. He brushed it aside in a moment and flat-out said that he really was just working hard.  Just hearing that put me at ease.  For my part. I admitted that it has taken me almost 6 months from my surgery to finally feel like myself again.  I remember the neurosurgeon saying it would take time, but I truly did not believe him.

Yet it took one night for it to hit home.  I woke up at 545am yesterday on my own before going to an early morning breakfast briefing, and then had a full day of working and working out. I also started on a new app (well for me) www.calm.com which allows to practice meditation and mindfulness anywhere so while I drove I used it. I picked up my cousin from the airport at 815pm and then met him at the Haven Gastropub at 930 pm which I left from at midnight. And although I was fearful that I would not have the energy, not once did I feel tired. In fact, after meeting with him I felt energized and ready to do more.

I am at a place now where I see that for the things I want in life, I need to go after them rather than waiting around which also includes loving my beautiful wife and cherishing each and every moment that we have.

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Myself

Emotional Intelligence

Sanjay Sabarwal
Cover of "Emotional Intelligence 2.0"
Cover of Emotional Intelligence 2.0

As someone who is trying to change so much in myself, there are times I do feel overwhelmed. I wake up almost every morning now to do the following: journal, work on original writing, sometimes blog, watch BK Shivani and mini meditation about soul consciousness raising, do Lumosity.com, walk the dog who has been patiently waiting and then right after that work out for precisely 15 minutes, 11-13 minutes running off and on the treadmill and 3-10 minutes using a punching bag.  Finally, shower, Grab a banana or cereal and off I go!. All this before even starting my day at work.  Initially, I was exhausted by 9:30am when I arrived at the office, yet now I feel it normal, full in a way that I have not felt in ages.

I try to use BK Shivani’s message that I am the creator of my thoughts, feelings and actions. I am in charge of my emotions, and I create almost 50-60,000 thoughts in my head in a single day. The question is not about quantity but quality. Positive and soul consciousness raising thoughts give energy while negative, necessary and idle thoughts deplete you.  I’d like to add that negative emotions do the same.  At the same time while I listen to “Healer Within” I remember the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 which tells me to use active listening to hear the other person. I am trying on so many levels to be the person I want to be. I have made it my mission to be a better person because ultimately, I want to enjoy meaningful relationship with others but most importantly with myself.

It’s a hard path because I constantly fail at active listening which involves me really hearing the other person and asking questions. Instead. I get hurt and become self-defensive which in turn creates more hurt and pain which leads to more negative emotions.   I am starting to see that I am truly at the beginning of my journey of being in charge of myself. Wish me luck!

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